Hyperbolic Expressions

♫ I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one ♫

I'm not sure there is a better way to describe me than with the above borrowed lyrics. The very first line of that same song is ♫ I hate the world today ♫ ...Speak to me, Meredith Brooks. 

I tend to say that quite a bit, actually. Honestly, I probably speak the words "I hate the world," "I hate people," and "I hate everything" more than anyone you currently know or will ever meet. However, that doesn't translate to me literally hating the world, people, and or everything. While I would put myself somewhere between "cynic" and "realist," those phrases are mostly just a hyperbolic expression of my disappointment. Three cheers for being self-aware? Or something...*shrug*

The problem, though, with saying those things is that people don't always know not to take you literally or seriously or "with a grain of salt" if you're a fan of idioms. Which, by the way, I most definitely am not. I hate idioms...and this time I'm not being hyperbolic. It's like, JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND DON'T GIVE ME SOME VERBAL PUZZLE I HAVE TO DECODE IN ORDER TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. *clears throat* Anyway. Saying these things can easily come across as being overly negative (hence the word "hate") and make you seem depressed or even hateful. I mean, I understand why someone might think those things if they don't know you well but I don't think of myself as a particularly hateful or overly negative person. And as far as depression goes (or any other mental issue, for that matter), I tend to not be as open about those things when I'm struggling. Meaning, I wouldn't generally post an update on social media about feeling depressed or whatever but I would totally post something that said, "I hate the world...". Maybe that's backwards or weird, but that's me. And that's why I love the following borrowed lyrics, courtesy of Meredith Brooks:

♫I think it's cool, you do what you do and don't try to save me ♫

Just because I sometimes use hyperbolic phrases to express disappointments doesn't mean I need to be "saved," as the 90s classic so appropriately put it. I don't need to be rescued or whatever because of some exaggerated and over-the-top statement. Also, PLEASE don't ask me if I'm okay, but instead ask me how I'm doing if you're really that curious. What I mean by that is, don't assume there is constantly something wrong that I need to talk about. Maybe I should change my name to Frank, but it gets frustrating to feel like you have to defend your O.K. Factor and I'm guessing I'm not the only person who has experienced something like this. 

I hope I'm not coming off as mean or bitchy or whatevs, because I don't mean it like that. I understand and appreciate that asking me if I'm okay comes from a kind and caring place, but I feel it could be approached in a different way. I just think it's important to be aware of and think about stuff like this, and to be aware of others in general. And regardless of your personal opinion of me, I highly suggest you go listen to (and even watch the music video for) "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks and rock out until your heart's content. 

Until Next Time, 
Carly (but really Batman)

There's Nothing Like a Good Cup

Cue the bed music! ♫ It’s a beautiful mornin’ ahhh… ♫

Isn’t coffee wonderful? It comes in all different forms, types, states of matter, shapes (Shapes? I know, just go with it.) and sizes. And the taste? Don’t even get me started. There’s good coffee, bad coffee, drip coffee, gas station coffee, Starbucks coffee, Tim Horton’s coffee, Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, and (Hold up, I’m gonna say this next one with a Sofia Vergara accent so prepare yourself accordingly.) Colombian coffee. Then we have the roasts. There’s breakfast blend roast, English roast, dark roast, medium roast, Italian roast, French roast, classic roast and now I’ve said the word “roast” so many times that it’s beginning to sound strange so I’ll stop myself there. I’m sure you get my point, though… There are googolplexes of different kinds of coffee and different ways to flavor and then consume that oh-so-tasty beverage. 

My next point is that coffee can vary greatly from one type to the next, just like humans. And each individual cup of coffee has the potential to be unique and different from the last cup you had, just like days. You will have good cups and bad cups in the same way that you will have good days and bad days. And, while I totally get that the bad cups can sincerely suck, you simply cannot stop wanting or hoping for or working towards a good cup of coffee just because you had a bad cup. Or two. Or eleven. Or twenty-three years worth of bad cups. And, in fact, if you have, indeed, experienced twenty-three years worth of total bullshit that is all the more reason to strive for total non-bullshit experiences. Think about how amazing those positive experiences could potentially be…
Just don’t give up because there is always hope. And I pinky promise that you are worth that good cup of coffee, among other things.

Step Away From the Screen

   I always start on page 2 of a notebook. “Why?”, you ask? Because the first page sometimes eventually starts to slowly fall out. Yep. Little by little that first page starts to creep away from the other sixty-nine pages. When that starts to happen I get a little frustrated and, perhaps even a little anxious, every time I open the notebook. I’m weird, I know. But why put up with bullshit if you don’t have to?

  If this makes it to the interwebs and you’re reading it, you may be wondering why in the world I’m talking (writing/typing…whatevs) about notebooks when I have a keyboard within arms length. Call me a tree killer but I like paper. Sue me. Actually, please don’t sue me…that would not be fun times and you probably wouldn’t win anyway. Thanks in advance. Anyway, I like writing on paper with a pen (I mean, who doesn’t love a good pen?!). I suppose that’s pretty old school in this day and age, but I like what I like. *shrug*

  I literally hand write everything before putting it online. Perhaps it has something to do with my concentration issues. Maybe I’m just weird. Or maybe it’s because I can remember not having a computer or the internet. I can remember my first internet experience…it was via WebTV. Chances are, you probably don’t even know what that is without googling it. I can also remember a time when “googling” wasn’t a verb. 

  Back then, if you wanted to talk to someone you called them on a landline. And I don’t remember calling “the phone” a “landline” until modern technology became so modern and mobile phones started popping up everywhere. Oh, how times have changed…
Technology is weird. Don’t get me wrong, I love Most Things Technology, but look what it’s doing to us. We are spending so much time looking at screens that we hardly look at people anymore. Unless you count social media pictures…which, for the record, I don’t. How is that living? How does the internet and social media provide you with the same types of experiences and connections that real life can? Think about that. 

  When you would rather have your face in a screen than hangout with and talk to a close friend, THAT’S A PROBLEM. And I certainly don’t mean you should always choose to interact with people IRL (in real life). I’m relatively introverted (and anxious) so I get it. And I love the interwebs oh so much, but don’t choose Internetland over people every time. And (this is important so pay attention) when you do choose to spend time in the real world PLEASE don’t spend the majority of that time with your face buried in a screen. I’d be willing to bet that person wants to see YOU, not the back of your phone. 

 So, please, for the sake of intellect, humanity, and a bunch of other important stuff, take a time out from technology now and then. It will still be there when you get back and I pinky promise you’ll be okay without it.