Bad News (Not) Bears

   Once upon a time, in a land called High School, there was a freshman having a difficult time dealing with the divorce of her parents and the events that surrounded it. During that time, the High School social worker informed the freshman that she was grieving and that grieving takes time. The freshman was shocked to hear that she was grieving because she had always associated "grieving" with "death of a loved one". However, that isn't always the case. Grief can come in all shapes and sizes and for a myriad of different reasons. If someone is grieving, it means that they are experiencing deep sorrow. Obviously, this kind of heartbreak does, indeed, occur when a loved one passes away, but we can experience grief over any kind of real loss. 

   Have you ever received bad news? Of course you have. But, did it ever occur to you that you may need to grieve as a result? It may sound a bit odd at first, much like it did for the previously mentioned freshman in High School Land, but (I think) it's totally legit. For example, let's say that you have never had any specific reason to think that you might lose your hearing. And then, one day, after you've been straining to hear certain things for a while, you get your hearing testing. And, after the test, the audiologist tells you that you have mild to moderate hearing loss that will most likely continue to get worse and that you will, eventually, need hearing aids. Even if you are unlikely to lose all hearing, you have still experienced a loss that you didn't necessarily see coming. And, as a result, it is completely natural to need to process this information and potentially grieve for the hearing aid-less life you imagined living. Does that make sense? I hope so. I think this concept could be applied to many losses in our lives and, potentially, help us work through the tough stuff, accept our new reality, and eventually heal the heartbreak as much as possible. 

   With that being said, if you've recently been hit with a loss in your life, PLEASE let yourself grieve. It's okay to be sad and upset. I know these aren't pleasant feelings, but sometimes they are necessary. It's okay to cry and feel shitty for a while, just be sure to check in with yourself and make sure you aren't dwelling. Obviously, it's not good to grieve forever, but there is a time and a place for it. Also, if you haven't seen Kati Morton's video on Grief and Grieving, I would strongly encourage you to check it out! She also has some other videos in which she answers questions about grief. Here are the links: 

• Is it possible to grieve for someone who hasn’t actually died yet?
• What's the difference between normal grief and depression?
• Is it normal to grieve the loss of therapy?

I hope this oh-so unprofessional advice is of some help to someone out there. If you have anything you'd like to see me blog (or vlog) about, please feel free to let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts!


Until Next Time, 
Carly (But really Batman)

I'm Not Dumb

I’m not dumb. But, if I’m being honest, I have frequently felt dumb throughout most of my life (mostly when it came to school). However, I am not “dumb;” I am dyslexic. And unfortunately, if you aren’t familiar with what dyslexia actually is, it can be difficult to tell the difference.

I was told I was dyslexic my senior year of high school (you know, after 12 or so years of feeling like I was stupid, doing poorly on tests, and just struggling through school in general), but no one ever really explained what exactly that meant. I mean, until yesterday I thought having dyslexia only explained why I sometimes mix up my numbers and letters. I’m so glad that I randomly thought to read up on the topic a bit, because…HOLY.SHIT. I could hardly believe all the ways in which dyslexia can affect your life!

Before I go any further, I want to say that, like most things, dyslexia can affect people differently, and obviously I am only speaking on behalf of my own experiences.
I had no idea that some of my weird little “quirks” could be explained by my dyslexia. For example, I have always been teased (sometimes more playfully than others) for the way I tell stories. I tend to describe every single detail, more or less, and the story takes forever to be told. And despite being teased about this for years (which has really bothered me at times), I still sometimes find it nearly impossible to just summarize a story.

Another big “quirk” of mine is that I have a difficult time organizing my thoughts in conversation. If you’ve watched any of my vlogs, I’m rather positive you’ve heard me say, “What are words?” after messing or mixing up a sentence or saying the wrong form of a word. As I’m sure you can imagine, that gets extremely frustrating. It makes me feel dumb, confused, and is overly frustrating because I KNOW that I know how to speak or “do words,” as I’ve also probably mentioned in my vlogs, you know?

But, the thing is, I AM NOT DUMB! And reading about dyslexia and being able to explain these “quirks” is beyond fantastic. It’s such a tremendous relief. I mean, so what if I tend to transpose my words and mix up my sentences (saying things like “mawn lower” instead of “lawn mower”)?! Who cares if I have a difficult time comprehending what I’m reading or following a set of directions?! Okay, well, that last one could get tricky in certain situations…lol. But I think you see my point. I absolutely loath idioms because I have an extremely difficult time understanding them and that isn’t because I’m “dumb,” it’s because I have dyslexia…and knowing the difference feels pretty awesome right now.